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Kale storm

April 12, 2009

When I go grocery shopping, I usually beg the Omnivore to stay at home.  I enjoy his company, truly I do, and he likes to shop (did you see the quick getaway post?), so it seems as though I would be eager for him to come along.’

I’m not.  I have a list.  I stick to the list.  Your eye-level “deals” will not sway me, oh Grocery Allah.  Your two-for-one deals do nothing for me.  I didn’t need 2 lbs of soon-to-go-out-of-date cheddar cheese to begin with, let alone 4 lbs.  I don’t care if you call it a deal.  That term is relative.  I don’t need your canned beans.  I buy mine dry, TYVM.

The ‘vore loves a deal.  He is swayed by the deals.  Those deals are strategically placed throughout the grocery store to offload crap they don’t want onto you.  You don’t even *like* Nacho Cheesier Doritos.  Don’t buy them!  Sale SHMALE!  

But, despite the fact that I routinely try to sneak out of the homestead to go grocery shopping when my husband isn’t looking, I still enjoy reveling in my goodies with him when I get home.

The most exciting part is the produce.  Sometimes when I get home, I whip out the.biggest.bell.pepper you have ever seen.  If it weren’t so green and shiny, you just might mistake it for a pumpkin.  And then, the Omnivore grins (and he’s got nice teeth, have you seen the header up top?) and says the word: Each?

Yep, that’s right.  Produce-by-the-each.  Not by the pound.  When my list items are being miraculously sold by-the-each I get a little giddy in the veggie aisle.  I rummage through the cucumbers, the peppers, the lettuce heads in order to find the largest-least-blemished specimen.  And I succeed.  I’ve come home with items 30x the size of other veggies in the same bin:

I feel sorry for those poor mothers of toddlers forced to grab the first pepper that comes their way because little Johnny is screaming bloody murder over the jar of minced garlic that the poor victim refuses to buy (why does Johnny insist on minced garlic?  We all know fresh is better, and little Johnny isn’t doing the mincing anyway!).

So last week, kale was sold by-the-each.  Naturally, I found a single bunch of kale that was GINORMOUS and was the mother of all other kale bundles in the produce bin.  That was a good buy.  It did result, however, in quite a kale-storm.  I’ve been eating kale like there is no tomorrow.  Sauteed.  Stewed.  Soups.  Pizza.  

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That glimpse of yeasty goodness you see in the lefthand corner is an Aloha Roll.

Kale and Squash with braised Tofu

Braising Sauce (Veganomicon)
1/4 cup water
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 T lemon juice
2 T soy sauce

1/2 onion, sliced
2 giant leaves of kale, chopped
1 yellow squash, sliced

Cube tofu.  Curse tofu because you still haven’t eaten that giant greater-than-1-lb-block of it.  Mix all the ingredients for the braising sauce together in a small bowl.  Preheat broiler.  When hot spray a thin layer of olive oil over an oven-and-stovetop-safe pan.  Dip tofu chunks in braising liquid and then place into the pan.  Put the pan under the broiler for 10 minutes.  

Remove from the broiler and pour a few spoonfuls of the liquid over the tofu and add onion slices and return to the broiler for 3 minutes.  Take your beano at this time.  Remember, this stuff makes you flatulent.  Remove pan from broiler and add squash slices.  Pour remaining braising liquid and cook for a final 3 minutes.  Place pan stovetop and add kale to wilt, tossing a few times.  It will become flexible and bright green.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 12, 2009 10:03 am

    “Produce-by-the-each”

    LOL!

  2. April 14, 2009 7:53 am

    I love your use of kale in this recipe – yum!

  3. Janet permalink
    April 14, 2009 12:48 pm

    My store was selling red bell peppers for 79 cents each this week; those suckers are normally sold at close to $3 a pound. I bought the 7 biggest bell peps I could find!

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