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I’ve got a Famous Amos story

April 14, 2009

In college I was forced to take a public speaking class.  Don’t get me started on the who-what-where-when-and-why unless you want to see me boil over.  Because I will boil over if I talk about that ludiocrosy (and don’t tell me that’s not a word; it is).

One of the speech assignments was to tell a story…or something.  I forgot the premise of the speech.  But I remembered the story.  That’s the point, right?  So I’ll pass it along to you.

The parents of a young girl, these days she would be called a Tween, but back in the 90s she was just a girl, had recently divorced.  The parents not only split up, but they moved about 6 hours from one another, so very quickly the Tween found herself to be a frequent visitor in airports.  By the time this story took place, said Tween had quite a routine down that facilitated her shuffling from household to household up and down the east coast.  The two main components of this routine were 1) Famous Amos cookies and 2) a Sony Walkman.

One particular trip, the Tween got nice and comfy with her NKOTB tape in the airport terminal.  The terminal was rather crowded, so she was seated in between two adults.  She felt confident, nonetheless, because she was an absolute pro at this solo-flight stuff.  And the last stewardess had given her a nifty set of flight wings.

Anywho, the guy on her right resembled Mr. T:

But like I said, she was cool as a cucumber.  She began to snack on her Famous Amos cookies.  And shortly she noticed she had to dig deeper and deeper into the bag each time she reached for a yummy morsel.  And then she spied a rather dark hand accompanied by, was that an elbow-jab?, low grumble.  Mr. T was eating the tween’s cookies.  O-M-Gosh.  Stay cool.  Do not relinquish the cookies.  Tween increased the pace of her cookie eating.  Mr T. began grabbing cookies-by-the-2.  Tween ate faster, Mr T. grumbled LOUDER, and by gosh that was definitely an elbow jab.  Tween could NOT believe this.  This stranger, this large, large man was eating HER cookies and getting possessive over them.  Anger!

Finally, the stewards came over the loud speaker.  Children traveling alone, you may now board the plane.  Whew!  Tween was off, snatching her cookies and looking over her shoulder at Mr. T as she walked to the gate, hoping never to see Mr. T or share her cookies ever again.

As she settled into her seat in the plane cabin, the flight crew gently reminded her to put away the Walk Man.  Remember, they might interfere with mapping software.  She opened up her Mickey Mouse Fanny Pack to put it away and heard a crinkle.

Was that a crinkle?  Like the crinkle of a bag of Famous Amos cookies?  But wait, her cookies were still tightly clutched in her right hand.  How could her cookies still be in her fanny pack!?  She thought her cookies were 1/2 gone, thanks to Mr. T.

Well it seems that Mr. T’s cookies were actually 1/2 gone due to her.

That was long winded.  Sorry.  Just had to tell someone.

The Omnivore likes Famous Amos cookies the best.  So I sought out a crunchy/crispy recipe to make for him.  My friend, Heather, obliged by patiently typing out and emailing me the following Martha Stewart Recipe.

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These are not a chocolate chip cookie recipe. This dough is weird. When baked, it looks like it will be soft and cakey, like a delicate sugar cookie. But it is not. It is crisp. It is weird. It is crunchy. It is tasty. But it is not a chocolate chip cookie. More like a crunchy butter cookie with chips.

2 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/4 cups unsalted butter, room temp
1 1/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon coarse salt
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/4 cup water
2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350. Whisk flour and baking soda in a bowl. Put butter and both sugars in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, mix on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes.  Nothing was ever pale at this point, Martha.  I used brown sugar.  That means no pale-ness.

Reduce speed to low. Add salt, vanilla, eggs, water and mix until combined, about 1 minute.  Should my eggs have been room temperature?  Because they weren’t.  They were cold from the fridge.  Is that sort of thing implied in baking?  I mean, it specified the temperature of the butter, so I figured it it meant room-temp eggs, it would have said so.  Martha KNOWS Americans refrigerate eggs.  WWYD?

So, at this point, my dough looks like curds and whey.  Yep, the cold eggs shocked the b’heck out of the butter and it got all lumpy.  I dumped in flour incrementally to save the day.

Add flour mixture, mix until just combined. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop heaping tablespoon sized balls of dough about 2 inches apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper.  I chilled the dough for 20 minutes at this point.  Had I not, I am quite sure I would have had 4 baking sheets (yeah, this made a lot of cookies) of cookie blob mess.

Bake cookies, rotating sheets halfway through, until golden brown, about 20-25 minutes. Let cool on baking sheet on wire rack for 1-2 minutes. Transfer cookies to the rack to cool completely.  Query to bloggers about this recipe and ask for advice and tips.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 14, 2009 11:30 am

    I love this story!! Did you know that Mr. T lived not too far from where I grew up?! 🙂

  2. April 14, 2009 11:45 am

    It never hurts to bring the eggs to room temperature when you make cookies like this. It helps the mixture emulsify when all of the ingredients are the same temperature. Cookie dough is an emulsification because butter is mostly fat and eggs are mostly water, so they don’t inherently like to mix. That being said, it isn’t a big deal.

    Your batter wasn’t curdled because the butter solidified due to the cold. It curdled because it wasn’t emulsified; the fat and the liquid separated. It isn’t generally a big deal though. A lot of cake recipes look curdled before the dry ingredients are added.

    Honestly, this is just a weird, weird recipe. Water in cookies is gross.

  3. Debbie permalink
    April 14, 2009 11:47 am

    Love the story! Sorry I can’t help with the recipe.

  4. April 14, 2009 12:00 pm

    man oh man I hope this is a true story!

  5. April 14, 2009 2:45 pm

    I’ve heard that story too! But it wasn’t Mr. T in the version I heard. Haha.. Either way it sounds like something I’d do. So… tell us, how did the cookies taste?

    • brannyboilsover permalink*
      April 14, 2009 5:09 pm

      It is a true story! Not an urban legend. The girl’s name was Megann! I swear. The cookies tasted good. Sweet. Crunchy. Crisp. But nothing like Famous Amos.

  6. April 14, 2009 4:22 pm

    Great story! You have a wonderful knack for store telling and good recipes!

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